he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize