Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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