It's like God shit irony all over that family
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
