tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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