is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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