No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
