she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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