I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
