Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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