There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize