Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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