Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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