Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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