Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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