Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
