the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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