She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
