I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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