I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
