i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
