We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
