In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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