Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize