He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
