May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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