Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize