You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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