He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
