I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
