I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
