weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My vagina just clenched in fear
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
