Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
