We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am one with the molecules
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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