one might say we're banned from that church
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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