We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
