why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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