so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
