He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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