just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
