We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
