So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
