a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
