Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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