this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
