There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
40s are totally the cure
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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