he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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