She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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