She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
