there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
