You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
