dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
