I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
