So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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