please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
nutella sex= disaster
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize