are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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