I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
